The review copies of CDs that arrive in the PO Box of The PhiLL(er) are always accompanied by a sheet or two of chaperone literature that describes the band, their influences, philosophy, etc., and recommends a couple best tracks. I usually try to avoid reading these things even remotely closely before I start listening to the album because almost without exception they describe the band in question in such ridiculously highfalutin terms that you'd be forgiven for thinking that this band wasn’t so much a collection of musicians as the Messiah Himself, comin' back to save our wretched souls through the medium of tedious middle-of-the-road indie rock. Which would be a strange way of going about it, but as the Bible or John Milton or Bono said, "the ways of the Lord are strange to man." Just by way of example, my already pretty strong antipathy towards ActionReaction's music was exacerbated into fully-developed vitriolic rock-existential hatred after I read their unbelievably self-aggrandizing, po-faced and idiotic fact sheet. Even bands that I've pretty much unequivocally liked made me second guess my praise for a moment or two when I read their chummy tales of getting together and pretentious claims to be the heirs to every half-decent band since the first caveman drunkenly smacked a bleached skull with his wife's jawbone.

All of which is a rather lengthy introductory way of saying imagine my mild pleasure when I read the somewhat self-deprecating tones of this band's brief and mostly to-the-point promo-leaflet. It more or less says that since they follow the title of the album literally, some of it falls a bit short, but hey! D-I-Y, baby. Although my natural suspicion was that they were trying to boast the information in a slack-and-proud kinda way and were possibly expecting a biscuit for their (lack of) effort, I gave them the benefit of the doubt.

I wish I hadn't.

You've heard every song on this album before, somewhere, even though you've never heard any of these songs before (unless you're friends of theirs or accidentally walked into some bar in Syracuse or Oneonta or Buffalo and they were on stage). My housemate wandered into the kitchen while I was listening to this mediocre nonsense and started whistling along, perfectly, to a song he'd never heard. I hope that gives some indication of how well-trodden and uninspiring these songs are. He later remarked that "it sounds like it was composed for the soundtrack of a teen movie." I think every song is about Change, or Not Being Able to Change, or Even If Stuff Changes It'll Be the Same. I'd rather listen to that song about Changes that Ozzy Osbourne sang with his daughter a few Christmases back, which had ten times the lyrical originality, despite being lyrically and musically one of the most unoriginal pieces of junk ever recorded. In one song the singer took a walk with his blues and is forever gonna be in love with you, or something. I think he just needs to get laid. Or to drink another can of Utica Club Gold, which he no doubt drinks as a point of pride. There was even a song about an old man on his knees on the street outside, which was the saddest thing the singer had ever seen. The music is as cliché as the lyrics. I actually wonder if these guys have ever listened to any music that didn't limp out of a commercial classic rock radio station. And I really hope they don't give up their day jobs. According to the liner notes, one of them dropped out of college for a band that was worse than this one. Dude, that tuition money is an investment in your future. This band is a one-way ticket to a mind numbingly dull oblivion.